Birth story:
As I climbed into bed at around 10.30pm on the eve of my due date my waters broke. They were a consistent trickle. Tom, my husband, was playing on his computer so I went through and said we needed to call the hospital. We were both excited and apprehensive, I thought that the baby would be late.
We rang the hospital and they said to come in so they could check that it was definitely my waters. We went to triage and they sent us up to the delivery ward as they said it would be quicker to be seen that way. I had a covid test and they checked my waters. The fluid was pink but they said this was ok.
There was a lot more fluid coming out then I thought there would be. I kept flooding the maternity pads and my leggings. We were told that I would be given 24 hours to see if labour progressed and if not, I would be booked in for an induction to avoid a prolonged rupture of membranes. I remember thinking I really did not want an induction as I’d read about how painful the drip can be and that it is more likely to lead to an assisted delivery.
As the midwife was getting ready to send us home I asked if the baby’s movements should feel different now that my waters had gone. I was thinking that if the baby was now in a lot less fluid would this change how their movements felt. I remember the midwife huffing and saying ‘so are you telling me your baby’s movements have changed?’ I tried to say that it was more of a theoretical question, would it feel different? I was told that because I had said that I needed to go back to triage for monitoring.
The midwife walked us down to triage and Tom was stopped from going in.
I remember being sat on a bed in triage. I had to wait a long time to see a doctor. I had a monitor on my stomach to monitor the baby’s heartbeat and another monitor to see if I was contracting.
I moved and the baby’s monitor moved out of place. The midwife came to check on the monitors and told me off for moving. I asked when I could go home as I was really tired by this point. It was also in the back of my mind that I only had 24 hours to deliver the baby before being induced so I wanted to rest. The midwife said that there was no way they would let me go home as I was full-term and had reported reduced movements. She said that they were waiting for a bed on the ward and then I would be taken up and induced. I felt really upset at this, I felt like I had no say in what was going to happen. I was on my own and wanted Tom to be with me.
I was moved to ward M2. I was still on the monitor and I started to feel the contractions. I was able to breathe through them easily.
There was a kind midwife who came to see me and introduce herself. I explained that I really did not want to be induced and I wanted to go home to see if my labour would progress. She said she would ask the doctor if this was ok. The doctor agreed as my contractions were too regular to have the prostaglandin.
Tom came to pick me up and drove us home at around 10am.
I laboured at home on a yoga ball whilst watching TV. The pain started to increase so I attached my TENS machine. I was using the Freya birthing app from the Positive Birth Company to monitor my contractions and by the early afternoon it said that I was having 3 contractions in 10 minutes so we went back into the hospital. I was examined at the hospital and told that I was 3 cm dilated so I couldn’t stay. We waited at the hospital for around an hour until my labour stalled and the contractions died down. At around this time I started vomiting and I was unable to keep food or water down from this point.
I laboured at home until around 8 pm, my TENS machine was no longer helping as much with the pain and I felt like I needed to have it on ‘boost’ all the time. My contractions were regular again so we headed back to the hospital. I was kept waiting on a bed in triage for quite a while and kept asking for gas and air. I was told that I couldn’t have any until I had been examined and this felt like it took forever. Eventually I was examined and they confirmed that as I was now 6 cm dilated I could have the gas and air.
I was transferred up to the labour ward. I was still vomiting and I had signs of dehydration so I was given an injection of anti-nausea medicine and pethadine. I also had a drip of fluids to help rehydrate me. I had monitors on my stomach but I was very keen to maintain an upright position so I laboured whilst kneeling up on the back of the hospital bed.
By midnight I was fully dilated and started to feel some urges to push. I started pushing regularly with my contractions at around 2 am. At around 5 am the midwives called a registrar as my baby’s head was not descending. The registrar said that they needed to give me an episiotomy to allow my baby’s head to be born. As the episiotomy was performed I started to bleed a lot. I did coached pushing for a couple of contractions before the team decided to use the ventouse. The ventouse were applied and pulled four times but due to the blood they were unable to get a good grip on the baby’s head. Forceps were then used and my baby’s head and body were delivered simultaneously.
The baby was placed on my chest and I was able to discover that he was a little boy. I remember thinking ‘it’s George’ and feeling like I already knew him. I was surprised at how big he was, he seemed very large for a newborn!
I had a haemorrhage and the emergency buzzer was pulled. I either lost consciousness or disassociated at this point so my memory is hazy. Eventually the bleeding was stopped and my episiotomy and tear were stitched.
Tom remembers that there were two sets of midwives in the room as there was a shift change about to happen. One of the student midwives was asked to pull the buzzer and she hesitated and was told that she had to pull it now.
Tom remembers that lots of people, around 9, came into the room quickly. The registrar was directing what the other medical professionals needed to do. The midwives who had been responsible for me were saying what had been done. The senior midwife was checking what was being done and counting swabs in and out.
I remember both my arms and hands being worked on by different medical professionals as they tried to get a line in. I had a drip of fluids and one of oxytocin to slow the bleeding. I remember talk about my cervix being nicked and the medics asking where the bleeding was coming from. Tom remembers the blood being described as spurting and that there was a lot of blood on the floor. Tom remembers it being like a scene from Saving Private Ryan and thought it looked like prop blood. He remembers them trying to wipe it up but the cloth was just moving it round.
I was given an injection in my leg. I remember pressure being applied in my vagina and rectum. Tom said that they put packing in my vagina to try and stop the bleeding and I was given coagulants in my rectum.
I do not remember the placenta being delivered but I do remember someone saying that there was a lime sized piece of placenta on the floor and that the placenta was raggedy. This means that they were not able to say for certain that it had been removed completely so I was at higher risk of infection.
I was sewn up but I don’t really remember it. The registrar said I had a high pain threshold.
After a while (Tom thinks it was about 20 minutes) some of the medical professionals left the room. One of the midwives helped me to breastfeed George for the first time.
George was then weighed and I went to the bathroom and had a shower (which was difficult as I still had drips in my hands).
During a ward round, a couple of midwives and a consultant came into the room. They asked if I had any questions and I said I did not.
Tom and I were both shell-shocked by the whole process. It was not the birth we had anticipated and we felt that events spiralled without us having a say. We were both confused as to why George had needed an assisted birth. We did not understand how it had gone from the labour not progressing to the intervention so quickly. We were concerned that there had been an issue with George and that we had not been informed.
From reading the hospital notes and meeting with the consultant midwife, we found out that there were concerns regarding my heart rate (normal maternal heart rate is 80-100 bpm but mine was 132 bpm). Due to George being bigger than anticipated he would not have been able to be born without assistance. I was fully dilated and pushing well but his head was too large to be pushed out or delivered using the ventouse.
Ruptured episiotomy:
I had an extended mediolateral episiotomy and tear following the birth of my son.
Four days later, my stitches were becoming much more painful. I worked up the courage to take a look at my perineum and saw that the wound had ruptured.
Two days later the wound was even more painful. I noticed that there was discharge and visibly loose stitches. My GP confirmed that there was a significant infection which should have been identified sooner. I was prescribed the first of four courses of antibiotics.
A week later there was still no improvement. The GP was seriously concerned at the appearance of the wound and telephoned the gynaecology department for advice. They told my GP that they would not see me until the infection was cleared. By my 8 week postnatal check the wound was still red and gaping. Ultimately, after four rounds of antibiotics three clear swabs showed that there was no longer an infection. My GP was still unable to secure an appointment to have the wound reviewed at the hospital. I was informed that I did not meet the criteria for an urgent referral and instead I needed to wait 26-62 weeks for an appointment.
Frustrated by this road block, my GP advised me to present to A&E when my son was 12 weeks old. I was treated the same day by a consultant on the postnatal ward, the wound was stitched internally and the painful over granulation tissue was cauterised. After around 2 weeks the wound was finally healed and I was no longer in constant pain.
Pelvic organ prolapse:
I’d read about pelvic organ prolapse in the fantastic ‘Why Did No One Tell Me? How to Protect Heal and Nurture Your Body Through Motherhood’ by Emma Brockwell.
By my 8 week check I had started to feel a bulge sensation in my vagina and a persistent feeling of heaviness. I mentioned this to my GP but as my wound was still open it was dismissed.
I attended an NHS physio appointment in September 2021 when I was over four months postpartum. I again mentioned that I could feel a bulge in my vagina and that I was dribbling urine a few minutes after going to the toilet. I had an internal examination whilst lying down and I was told that there was nothing unusual considering I had had a baby recently. There was scar tissue and I had a weak pelvic floor. I was prescribed pelvic floor exercises and given an appointment for 6 weeks. At this appointment I was assessed again and despite doing the pelvic floor exercises my strength had not increased so I was put on the waiting list for an electronic stimulation device.
One month later, I attended an NHS appointment with a gynaecologist in October 2021. I again mentioned that I thought I had a prolapse. I was examined with a speculum and told that I had vaginal wall laxity but no prolapse. I described my symptoms and how they were impacting me but I was told that they would not do anything until I had had ‘lots more babies’. I felt pretty hopeless after this.
After much discussion with my husband we decided to pay to see a private gynaecologist and get a second opinion. We had a consultation with a senior gynaecologist in December 2021. I was examined lying on my side and I was asked to bear down. He confirmed that I had a moderate cystocele, a rectocele and descent of the cervix. Given my age, he recommended an anterior wall repair and provided us with the information on what this would entail. We were told that as there were several prolapses it was hard to tell which one was causing the symptoms but as the cystocele was the worst he recommended starting by fixing that one. I was told that a pessary might be an option but that they were only really suitable for old women in nursing homes who were not sexually active. We were told to consider our options and to get back in touch if I wanted to go ahead with the surgery.
We were told that I would be unable to lift our baby for six weeks after the surgery. I had already spent the first half of my baby’s life being stuck in our apartment, unable to walk him in his pram or rock him for as long as he needed due to the perineal wound breakdown so the prospect of spending more time being unable to move was not appealing.
At this point, I decided to conduct my own research into pessaries and found that younger women were using them. I found a private pelvic health physiotherapist who fitted pessaries and booked the first available appointment which was at the end of January 2022.
At the appointment I was told that I was a good candidate for a pessary and so I arranged a pessary fitting appointment in February 2022. I was fitted with a ring with support and taught how to insert and remove the pessary by myself. The effect of the pessary was instantaneous, the persistent nagging bulge feeling was gone. I could now walk for longer than five minutes without feeling the drop of my pelvic organs.
At nearly 2 ½ years postpartum I feel like I am finally starting to reach some sort of equilibrium. My symptoms vary depending on my cycle, how much sleep I’ve had, if I’ve been ill or how active I’ve been. I use both a ring and a cube pessary and SRC prolapse support shorts. I regularly attend appointments with my pelvic health physiotherapy to work on my pelvic floor strength and also my glute and core strength to provide as much strength and stability as I can to my pelvis.